weddingsv make me drug and hornr
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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