whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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