Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize