woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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