what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
