This is not my ceiling
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
