I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
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I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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