No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
