I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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