wanna go halves on a baby?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
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Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
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Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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