my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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