what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
