dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Small penises have feelings too.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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