Small penises have feelings too.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
