youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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