she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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