youre lurking in front of me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
