3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Come on in and take your pants off
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