So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
