I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
