He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
