So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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