So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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