508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
