i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
