the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
