I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize