Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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