Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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