He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
