So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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