So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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