just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
