...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
