You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
