I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
