no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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