Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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