You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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