how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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