i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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