hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We left an ass print on the piano.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
