in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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