you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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