I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You are a genius and a whore.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
