i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
