im drinking this country out of the recession.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
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