gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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