i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
