I puked a lego.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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