we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
