Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
