why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
