I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
