Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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