I looked at my own cervix.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
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Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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