Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
