Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
