he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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