WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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