So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
