Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
