Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Less talking, more tequila
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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